A woman's dilemma - Episode 60

Francesca;

 I blink heavy eyes open to find Gideon sobbing on my hand which is currently clenched between both of his hands. His head is bent over my hand and he doesn't see my eyes open so I blink them back close. Everything comes rushing back. It wasn't a dream. I must have made a sort of sound because Gideon's head pulls up and our eyes lock.
"Frances." He sniffs back tears and I just watch him. He doesn't say anything else and so do I. For a long while. It must feel longer than it actually is but I can't stand it anymore. I stand to sit up.
"Sh*t! Don't do that!" He snaps at me. His hand comes to rest against my stomach to push me back and I gasp like he's burnt me. He freezes on my stomach and looks up to my eyes. I shake my head as the tears come down.
"I can't do this." I mutter and start to push on his hand. I maneuver away from him before he can hold me and I stand.
"Frances what are you doing, you were hurt! You've been out for hours!" He snaps at me, frustrated. I whip my head to him in anger and he clamps his mouth shut.
"How long were you going to fool me, Gideon?" As soon as I drop the question,his face falls.
"No." He groans.
"Yes!" I scream, hysterics bubbling up inside me.
"Yes, Gideon! I remember everything! You took my own life away from me." I choke on a sob.
"That's not it." He looks broken as he moves towards me and I step back.
"You're my fiancee? We lost our baby? F*ck Gideon!"
"Baby..."
"Don't you dare." I say more calmly than I feel.
"Francesca you have to calm down and let me explain. I did it for you

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. To protect you." He says. I put my hands around me. I'm a shaky mess.
"Keeping me away from my son is protecting me? You're a f*cking selfish person!"
"It killed me okay?! Every single day. I wanted to tell you so much but I had to make a choice. It was keep you here and safe or let your husband have his hands on you again." I see his eyes harden as he says husband and I remember that said man is sleeping in a room inside this hospital. Goosebumps spread all over my skin at the shivers it sends up my spine. I hug myself tighter.
"I sent him away. First thing this morning. His mistress came to get him." He says and I stagger back.
"Mistress?" I ask.
"A tiny looking woman. Tina. But that's not what matters right now is it, Frances. Tell me you still want the man who left you in that burning house to die and I'll take you to him. Tell me you want the man who killed you and I'll..."
"He didn't kill me! You did! You fucking did!" I point my shaking finger at him.
"All I did was protect you Francesca. I saved you and watching you, the woman I've loved for too long stay in that coma for eight long months? It killed whatever selflessness I had, Frances." My heart actually skips several beats at his words. I clamp a hand over both my ears and shake my head furiously.
"Nothing can excuse what you've done. My son thinks I'm dead. My parents. My friends. What have you done?!" The seriousness of the situation slams into me as I speak. And he said he loved me for too long. How long? Gosh, I don't even know what I'm suppose to feel anymore now that I have my memory. I thought I love him. But that could just be a mirage. Something my brain thought it felt because I was told that it was what I felt.
"You want the truth? I'll do everything all over again if I'm put in the same situation, Francesca. I'd take you from your family to keep you safe." My hand flies before I can control myself and I slap him clean across his face. He doesn't stop talking though.
"I'll take a mother from her son just to keep her alive longer. Because I love her. I love you, Francesca. I can't see you fighting for your life ever again. If that makes me selfish then I'll gladly wear the tag for the rest of my life." He says.
"Why am I even listening to this?" I ask myself before spinning on my feet and walking to the door.
"Where are you going?!" He catches my arm as I make it past the door. I pull my hand away without looking back. Simi comes running when I walk out into the clinic's lobby.
"Frances you're awake. I...." She sees the tests on my face and her eyes pass me to meet her brother who's behind me. I see it in her face. She knew!
"You knew!" I cry out loud. A few people around look at me but I don't care. This people treated me like a fool.
"Frances, don't let your emotions make you do something stupid now. We saved your life. Gideon made you his whole life." She says and I frown.
"And I'm supposed to thank him for that? For taking my life away from me?" I ask her. She shakes her head at her brother. Now what are they collaborating within themselves?
"I don't want to see either of you in my life ever again." I say and push past her.
"Frances!" Strong arms hold me from behind.
"Get off me!" My hand comes up to slap me again but Simi comes between us and the slap hits her on the neck. I gasp.
"I'm so.. I'll.. I'll just leave." And with that I take the closest door and run outside. When I don't hear footfalls behind me I know that Simi has her brother in check. I hear both their raised voices from inside the clinic. Gideon sounds distraught and bile rises in my throat. I run to the corner and dry heave painfully. I've not eaten a thing today and there's nothing to vomit. That doesn't stop the dry heaves from wracking my body. I hold my stomach as I bend over.
"It hurts." I sob out loud as the vomiting turns into painful tears. I squat to the floor and bury my face between my knees.
 I don't know how long I cry alone out here before I hear the clinic's front door open. I don't turn around. I can't face whosoever it is.
"I can't say I know how you feel right now but..."
"Try betrayed." I say haughtily when I realize it's Simi and not Gideon. Am I disappointed? Why the hell do I need the person causing this much pain to take it away? I must be crazy. I stand from my perch on the floor to face Simi.
"You look horrible." She says drily and I grind my teeth hard.
"Is that what you came here to say?" I ask her.
"Do you know how much it messes with the mind to watch someone you love to fight for her life? To remain limp on a bed? Without moving a limb? Not knowing if she's going to die any moment?" She asks. I don't say anything and she goes on.
"Eight months, Frances. Some days he'll go without bathing or eating. Just to watch you." I clench my eyes shut.
"Now that doesn't explain what he's done. Manipulating you like that. Taking you away from your family. Your son. But have you tried to put yourself in his shoes?" 
"I don't even know what to think right now. I feel so manipulated. For almost two months, I've lived here with him. Thinking he's my fiancee. Thinking that I'm in love with him."
"You can't think you're in love with someone just because you're told to do so." She says and I shake my head.
"You don't know that. I don't know that. Hell, I don't know anything."
"I managed to get him to agree to let you go. There's this saying that if you love someone, you'll always come back." Her eyes strays to the window and I follow them to find Gideon watching us from there. Our eyes lock and it's like we're the only ones in the world. I hear my heart beat with a fury.

Read " To Live For Once (Set Me Free II) " by the same author ( Ameh juliet )

. It kind of hurts more to look at him. I feel like his eyes are begging for me to call him to take me back. To shield me forever. I straighten my spin and shake my head mildly at him before turning back to Simi.
"I have to see my boy again." I tell her.
"I know." She nods her head.
"Take this." She pulls my hand and places a few thousand naira notes in it.
"You can get a cab at the end of the street to take you to the bus station." She tells me. Emotion clogs my throat.
"Thank you so much. For everything." I say sincerely. She's been a friend for months.
"Just don't hurt my brother." She says and walks back into the clinic before I can reply. I can't promise her that anyways. I push them to the back of my mind and start to walk out into the street. My sweet boy. Mama is coming.