Behind You - Episode 30

Jawad

I stared at my wife small frame looking pale on the hospital bed. The doctor told us she's in coma, and they don't know the specific time she's waking up. I feel hurt and lonely inside. Is this what it feels to care about someone deep , someone who you hurt by your selfish reason. This is all my fault, i shouldn't have treat her badly and now.

Taking her cold hand in mine, i rub circle on it. "Farah, i know it's of no use saying this to you but at least i need to get it out of my head." A lump forms in my throat. This is not what i wished to happen.

"I'm so sorry for what i did to you in the past, i was blind by my selfishness, i didn't realize I've been chasing away a good and innocent woman." Holding her hands to my cheek i whispered. "Please Farah wake up and punish for all the hurtful words and harsh treatment i did to you, Farah please don't leave me, i need to earn you forgiveness."

"I'm sorry Farah"

"Please wake up Farah." I felt someone touch my shoulder. Turning i came face to face with my mom.

"Mom.." I immediately embrace her in a hug. I completely sounds like a kid.

"Mom..Tell Farah to wake up, I'm really sorry for how i treated her

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. Am ready to receive any punishment, this is not what i want to happen Mom. I don't want the past to repeat itself please Mom." I blabbered holding her tightly.

"Shh..it's okay son calm down and tell me exactly why you're saying you're ready to receive punishment." She asked worry laced in her voice and that is when i realised what i just uttered.

"Is there something you're hiding from me Jawad?" She asked again.

You're responding for all the problem you need to take responsibility.

"You know Mom.." I stuttered finding the word to say. This has never happened to me before, it's unlike me to behave like this.

"I can't believe you will stoop so low like this, this is not how i brought you up. How can you treat her so badly to the point of acting as if you're in love just we married her to you" By the look on my mom's face she clearly not expecting this from me.

"Mom.. I know what i did is not good but i ever since our trip to Dubai, i realise that she don't deserve all the treatment and i regret." She kept quite for some time.

"Am really disappointed." And with that she left leaving me dumbstruck.

Slouching myself on the chair, i buried my head on my hands.

"How is she now doctor"

"Is she going to wake up soon?" I heard some voice making me flutter my eyes open. Stood Farah's Mom, Yasmin, Aunt Fatima and my Mom talking to the doctor.

"You should keep praying, her body is improving, she might wake up soon."

"Alhamdulillah." I heard My mom say.

"Brother jawad why don't you go home and take a rest you must be tired." Yasmin said finally noticing am wide awake.

"Don't worry am not tired.."

"She's right, you've been in the hospital since yesterday you need to rest. So don't argue with me and go home." Mom cut me off. Not wanting to argue with them, i agree to go home.

The house feels cold and empty, my eyes met with the couch splatter in the room our room. I remembered the last conversation we had on that couch, i should've told her about my feeling back then. I sat on the couch for what felt like forever.

The buzzing of my phone brought me back from my thought. Myrah's name flashed across the screen. I inhale a deep breath preparing myself for whatever she's going to say.

"Assalam Alaikum" i muttered calmly.

"Jawad i heard Farah got into a accident, does that have to do with you because if it is am not going to forgive you.." She stated from the other end.

And now everyone is blaming you.

"Seriously jawad, i don't know what Farah ever did to you, last time i checked our family are the ones that got you too married what is her fault in this." She continued.

"I know i treated her badly in the past, but we're gradually getting closer to each other and now the accident. You know Myrah i don't want the past to repeat itself. I won't be able to forgive myself if something happened to her." The line went quite for some time.

"Do you love her? I mean sincerely?" She asked

I don't have to think twice.

"Yes i love her and i realise that while i was in Netherlands."

"Okay i trust you, but if you dare break her heart again.. You will have to face me." With that she hung up.

After resting for a while i took s shower together with isha namaz .

"Ya Allah, you're the forgiver. Ya Allah forgive my sins, Ya Allah heal my wife from the pain she's experiencing.

Ya Allah, i know I've made a lot of mistakes in this marriage. I realized that whatever Allah has chosen for you, no one can take it away.

Ya Allah you're the hearer and the forgive, ya Allah forgive my sin and increase my iman.

I spent almost one hour on the prayer mat telling Allah my problems. I know it's being long since a sit like this praying.

Alhamdulillah for finally realising all my mistakes.

I took my car keys and drove to the hospital stepping inside the room, all eyes turns to me. The way they look at me made me feel uneasy.

"We need to talk to you." Mom said breaking the silence.