A hypocrite

A hypocrite 

Such a nice word to describe who I am and what I am not

You know, it's easier to get trapped in a delusion than face fact but what's funny is facts aren't real enough for me.

They say I am great, talented, loved but yet again all I see 

Is a piece of trash

All I see are lies

All I see is a broken soul waiting to be fixed.

I am a lie...

"You love my smile"

I love it too. The ability to captivate you and think I am alright.

'Just dandy'

Is enough for me not to stumble further into the deep.

I am depressed but they don't know it

I am sad but I don't show it

I love to help but I sure as hell don't know how to help myself

Things suck, that's the truth and when I open up trying to fix myself, I do it for frauds even when I know they'll leave yet another scarring, another dent in my incomplete car.

I am so tired

All I can think of is how much I hate myself 

And how much I want a peaceful slumber

Forever.

I aint good enough after all

Even after the mirage I made for myself ...