Now that you are gone

Now That You Are Gone

I saw how you broke my trust several times,  I waited to see if you'd be sorry but you got so used to making me believe your lies that it didn't prompt you to think that maybe I was just acting on neglecting the truth. You stopped giving me a damn.

I heard from the walls, your tales of escapades, how you disrespected the sanctity of what we once called a home without flinching, your disregard showed how involved and messed up You Were lost.

I felt it, from the way your touches irritated me,  it no longer felt like the magic hands that held my heart and did wonders to my soul... It felt strange.

But inbetween, I watched how you struggled with Guilt of your demons, I noticed how you severally tried to open up and maybe If you had,  I'd have helped undrown you from the despair you created for yourself. 

I waited patiently, eager to see how much time you'll need to get exhausted and come back home...yet you derailed further, like and enclose without a lick,  you kept falling,  if only you had asked for help. 

Now I'm bearing the consequences of your decisions, I'm being judged for being a good partner,  How do I explain to them that you made me miserable while creating your own misery? 

If only you had asked for help,  if only you had opened up when it first happened, I would've mended every patch anew. 
Now,  how do I explain this suicide note you left me.....????